If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
