A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
