I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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