Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
