then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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