She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
