my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
