i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
