when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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