Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
