Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
