hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
