I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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