My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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