dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize