Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
