He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think your dad took our porno
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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