If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
