Sponge bath it is.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
