maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
