I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
