i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.