I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
