We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
