suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.