He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
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I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone