You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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