This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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