either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
