So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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