I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
