It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
