My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
