Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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