i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
