so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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