How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
