"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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