My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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