I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
