She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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