let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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