Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
