and she was petting her beer can
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
