the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
