Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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