I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
