Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
