I bet he comes in French.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
