some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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