You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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