watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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