it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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