the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
