Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
