The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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