I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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