make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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