We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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