You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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