He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
