He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
