God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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