I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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