then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
